Recently there’s a lot of debate within the Netherlands about the criminality of assistance by someone who’s not a doctor towards the death of a loved one. In the Heringa lawsuit a son has helped his (step)mother who wished to no longer live (considered her life to be ‘completed’) to die at an age of 99. The helper non-doctor risks criminal pursuit and punishment. The central argument of the lobby to establish a more humane approach towards the persevered need is personal autonomy. This article aims to clarify the debate and to stimulate another way of thinking towards the situation of, mostly, elderly who want to decide and act independently regarding their death.